conor_xedout

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 15:42:55 GMT

Time off has been "time on the street" for the past few months now. I had our materialistic society. Why do I need money, why do I have to pay for so many things that should just be a basic right? (You know, doctor's appointments, food, education, all the shit covered in important international documents like the Geneva Convention, that don't really matter when no one knows your name.)

I found out that someone thought I was 18. it kind of made me lagh, because I'm well aware I'm small for my age, but at the same time, being older is a good thing. The real sadistic ones, they'll go for the youngest boys they can get.

I'm going to try and save up enough money so I can go back and do the four years of high school that I'm missing. Four fucking years.

I got into this business trying to afford a trip to Jersey from fucking Omaha, and here I am two years later.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm any better off.

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 00:27:02 GMT

So, I'm final done withdrawals and everything from all the drugs I'd been doing. I think I'm off them for good.

Been drinking a bit, though, whiskey, mostly. It reminds me of home.

I hate the way how everyone thinks because I'm small - smaller than a lot of the kids here who're younger than me even - that means I shouldn't be at the point in my life where I am. That maybe I shouldn't understand as much as I do.

It's like being a kid, when you go to ask someone something, ("Ma, what's the girl across the street doing on the corner all night?") and they say you shouldn't be asking those questions, for the stupidest reasons. ("You're too young to know.")

Young doesn't get you places like this.

I've been smoking a lot lately. Not as much as I used too. It's too expensive to do a lot, I figure.

I really like Sonny. I don't mind Matt, for all he seemed to mind me. I don't mind polyamority. I kind of wish I had that capability, to love so much I can love more than one person like that.

The closest I can come is being with customers all night, and then going home to Sonny.

Sometimes I wonder how I can even do that.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 00:26:52 GMT

OOC: I'm home now. Sorry for any inconveniences!

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 06:25:54 GMT

OOC: I'm going to be in Vancouver for the next approximately 10 days. I'll be back July 23rd. <3